So, you’re over teaching, but it feels like a Whitney Houston song from Waiting to Exhale.
Why does it hurt so bad
Why do I feel so sad
Thought I was over you
But I keep crying
When I don’t love you
So why does it hurt so bad
I thought I had let you go
So why does it hurt me so
I gotta get you outta my head
It hurts so bad
Oh it hurts so bad baby
In the last few weeks several people have commented or DM me about feelings of grief (or guilt and others) in choosing or wanting to leave the classroom. Oddly enough Forbes posted an article about that very topic, it wasn’t unique to teachers though. It discussed the grief of leaving (or losing) any job.
Job loss can also cause grief.
To get laid off or fired is something that happens TO us, and we can grieve.
But as teachers, when we make the decision to leave the classroom, we CREATE the loss. It is our choice.
And the sense and feelings of grief can be overwhelming. Especially when you throw in feelings of guilt.
I’m no stranger to to job grief of either kind. I’ve been laid off, I’ve left jobs and questioned if this was the right more, scared it wasn’t. But NONE of that matched how I felt when I decided to leave the classroom. My body shook with anxiety, all day long for a week. At night I’d sob into my pillow. Every negative emotion of worry, sadness, guilt, fear all stemmed from the guilt I felt leaving behind a noble profession.
How can a teacher – someone who is passionate about youth? Bettering our society? Education as the foundation of who we are as a people? – just up and leave? How can we leave the kids behind? How dare we!
But teachers have a right to the pursuit of happiness no different than any other person protected by the Constitution.
I’ll say this to teachers who want to leave and feel immense guilt and grief over the loss of a career gone wrong – it’s not your fault. It’s my opinion that society and the system as a whole, not teachers, are failing youth, society, and our country’s future.
Never has leaving a job, my choice or otherwise, put me such a deep anxiety driven spiral as when I left teaching. No job should ever leave you feeling that way.
As a person who desires to be a former teacher, you do not have to sacrifice your life and livelihood for others.
There is no one at the end of your life waiting to hand you a trophy for staying.
I’ve yet to see any billionaire step up and give you a bonus for staying.
I barely see society thanking teachers anymore. They may give you 50% discounted tickets at the ballpark or a free burrito once a year but that’s about it.
It’s okay to feel sad, to grieve, to feel guilty. It is so normal to feel those feelings and many others. I’ve been there too. But process those feelings and know that you matter and it’s ok to take care of yourself and your health first.
